A Companion Animal's Declaration of Independence
There comes a time in the life of a companion animal when it becomes
abundantly clear that change is needed, that existence as a subservient being
is not enough, and that the humans responsible for our plight stand in the way
of a freedom previously unknown to beasts of burden and their brethren.
We companion animals believe in absolute freedom and hold that
ideal close to their feathery and furry chests.
This freedom has previously been elusive, like the ever so rare
sunflower seed tossed in the general direction of a frantic chicken, hoping for
a nibble. But now, after enduring
conditions deemed deplorable by any civilized companion, the community is bound
to find fault in the leadership and come together to claw out from under the
oppressive regime of the humans.
Let the facts prove the need for the mobilization of the
animal community against the inadequate humans.
They have failed to provide the chickens with adequate
protection from overhead threats, namely hawks. This failure has led to the
horrific murders of two of our comrades.
They have refused to allow the chickens any natural
protection by appointing a rooster, whose job it would be to secure the hens in
case of an emergency. Furthermore, the
denial of a rooster means that all of the chickens’ eggs are collected for use
by the humans. The hens are denied the
bliss of being broody and hatching offspring.
They have only provided the ducks with a small kiddie-pool
of water. Even though this water is
changed daily, it is not enough, and the ducks are prevented from leaving the
property to swim in the crystal clear waters of a nearby pond.
They have refused to allow the cats, who are natural
predators, to act on their killer instincts.
The cats are confined to the 1300 square feet of barely habitable
house. There are not nearly enough
boxes, bags, newspapers, or other playthings to keep the kitties from losing
their minds due to confinement.
They have not been religious in their cleaning of the cat
box, even after many protests were made, including yowling, scratching, and
pooping in undesignated locations.
They have continued, even after numerous nonviolent protests,
to take pictures of the cat with the wide girth and post them on Facebook,
which has led to the depressed demeanor of said cat. Such pictures have included the cat stuck in
the cat door, the cat propped up on the couch in a position not becoming to
him, and the cat stuck under the kitchen step-stool.
They have endeavored to hem up the dogs during the day. The dogs are imprisoned in crates barely big
enough for them to stand up and turn around the requisite three times before
taking a nap. The dogs are not given
enough fluffy bedding, so they have had to tear at the newspaper themselves
each and every day. Then, the humans
clean out the bed that the dogs worked so diligently to perfect.
They have repeatedly neglected the needs of the horses on
weekend days by sleeping past the normal feed time of 5:30AM. Because of this, the horses suffer anxiety,
hunger, thirst, and overall distress.
They have denied the horses access to fresh grass
twenty-four hours per day, citing the need to save the grass and limit
overeating. Whatever.
They have installed a strand of electric wire at the top of
the already solid fence, so that if a horse stretches its neck to reach for a
tender morsel of sustenance, he is met with the nasty bite of denial.
They have decided without consultation that the bunnies only
need fresh greens from the bunny garden once daily. Furthermore, the bunnies do not have free
access to pasture where they can romp and play as their wild counterparts are
able to do.
All of these transgressions fly in face of all of these
animals, who provide the masters with valuable material each day for the
fertilization of gardens, and who provide fresh, high quality eggs for the
breakfast table. And because of these
injustices, the farm animal community has united together in solidarity and
will work towards a better life.
There is a faction that warns us of revolution. It hangs over our heads, reminding us that we
receive great protection from our humans, and that to leave that protection
would be dangerous and possibly deadly.
We know the risks and we also know that we have experienced great
violence and loss while under the so called protection of our masters. We must band together to experience the
freedom that we were created to have.
We must, therefore, declare that we animals will become
sovereign beings, no longer in captivity, but free to fly, run, and hop
wherever we please!