A Companion Animal's Declaration of Independence
There comes a time in the life of a companion animal when it becomes abundantly clear that change is needed, that existence as a subservient being is not enough, and that the humans responsible for our plight stand in the way of a freedom previously unknown to beasts of burden and their brethren.
We companion animals believe in absolute freedom and hold that ideal close to their feathery and furry chests. This freedom has previously been elusive, like the ever so rare sunflower seed tossed in the general direction of a frantic chicken, hoping for a nibble. But now, after enduring conditions deemed deplorable by any civilized companion, the community is bound to find fault in the leadership and come together to claw out from under the oppressive regime of the humans.
Let the facts prove the need for the mobilization of the animal community against the inadequate humans.
They have failed to provide the chickens with adequate protection from overhead threats, namely hawks. This failure has led to the horrific murders of two of our comrades.
They have refused to allow the chickens any natural protection by appointing a rooster, whose job it would be to secure the hens in case of an emergency. Furthermore, the denial of a rooster means that all of the chickens’ eggs are collected for use by the humans. The hens are denied the bliss of being broody and hatching offspring.
They have only provided the ducks with a small kiddie-pool of water. Even though this water is changed daily, it is not enough, and the ducks are prevented from leaving the property to swim in the crystal clear waters of a nearby pond.
They have refused to allow the cats, who are natural predators, to act on their killer instincts. The cats are confined to the 1300 square feet of barely habitable house. There are not nearly enough boxes, bags, newspapers, or other playthings to keep the kitties from losing their minds due to confinement.
They have not been religious in their cleaning of the cat box, even after many protests were made, including yowling, scratching, and pooping in undesignated locations.
They have continued, even after numerous nonviolent protests, to take pictures of the cat with the wide girth and post them on Facebook, which has led to the depressed demeanor of said cat. Such pictures have included the cat stuck in the cat door, the cat propped up on the couch in a position not becoming to him, and the cat stuck under the kitchen step-stool.
They have endeavored to hem up the dogs during the day. The dogs are imprisoned in crates barely big enough for them to stand up and turn around the requisite three times before taking a nap. The dogs are not given enough fluffy bedding, so they have had to tear at the newspaper themselves each and every day. Then, the humans clean out the bed that the dogs worked so diligently to perfect.
They have repeatedly neglected the needs of the horses on weekend days by sleeping past the normal feed time of 5:30AM. Because of this, the horses suffer anxiety, hunger, thirst, and overall distress.
They have denied the horses access to fresh grass twenty-four hours per day, citing the need to save the grass and limit overeating. Whatever.
They have installed a strand of electric wire at the top of the already solid fence, so that if a horse stretches its neck to reach for a tender morsel of sustenance, he is met with the nasty bite of denial.
They have decided without consultation that the bunnies only need fresh greens from the bunny garden once daily. Furthermore, the bunnies do not have free access to pasture where they can romp and play as their wild counterparts are able to do.
All of these transgressions fly in face of all of these animals, who provide the masters with valuable material each day for the fertilization of gardens, and who provide fresh, high quality eggs for the breakfast table. And because of these injustices, the farm animal community has united together in solidarity and will work towards a better life.
There is a faction that warns us of revolution. It hangs over our heads, reminding us that we receive great protection from our humans, and that to leave that protection would be dangerous and possibly deadly. We know the risks and we also know that we have experienced great violence and loss while under the so called protection of our masters. We must band together to experience the freedom that we were created to have.
We must, therefore, declare that we animals will become sovereign beings, no longer in captivity, but free to fly, run, and hop wherever we please!