A Companion Animal's Declaration of Independence

A Companion Animal's Declaration of Independence

There comes a time in the life of a companion animal when it becomes abundantly clear that change is needed, that existence as a subservient being is not enough, and that the humans responsible for our plight stand in the way of a freedom previously unknown to beasts of burden and their brethren.  

We companion animals believe in absolute freedom and hold that ideal close to their feathery and furry chests.  This freedom has previously been elusive, like the ever so rare sunflower seed tossed in the general direction of a frantic chicken, hoping for a nibble.  But now, after enduring conditions deemed deplorable by any civilized companion, the community is bound to find fault in the leadership and come together to claw out from under the oppressive regime of the humans.

Let the facts prove the need for the mobilization of the animal community against the inadequate humans.  

They have failed to provide the chickens with adequate protection from overhead threats, namely hawks. This failure has led to the horrific murders of two of our comrades. 

They have refused to allow the chickens any natural protection by appointing a rooster, whose job it would be to secure the hens in case of an emergency.  Furthermore, the denial of a rooster means that all of the chickens’ eggs are collected for use by the humans.  The hens are denied the bliss of being broody and hatching offspring.  

They have only provided the ducks with a small kiddie-pool of water.  Even though this water is changed daily, it is not enough, and the ducks are prevented from leaving the property to swim in the crystal clear waters of a nearby pond.

They have refused to allow the cats, who are natural predators, to act on their killer instincts.   The cats are confined to the 1300 square feet of barely habitable house.  There are not nearly enough boxes, bags, newspapers, or other playthings to keep the kitties from losing their minds due to confinement.

They have not been religious in their cleaning of the cat box, even after many protests were made, including yowling, scratching, and pooping in undesignated locations.  

They have continued, even after numerous nonviolent protests, to take pictures of the cat with the wide girth and post them on Facebook, which has led to the depressed demeanor of said cat.   Such pictures have included the cat stuck in the cat door, the cat propped up on the couch in a position not becoming to him, and the cat stuck under the kitchen step-stool.  

They have endeavored to hem up the dogs during the day.  The dogs are imprisoned in crates barely big enough for them to stand up and turn around the requisite three times before taking a nap.  The dogs are not given enough fluffy bedding, so they have had to tear at the newspaper themselves each and every day.  Then, the humans clean out the bed that the dogs worked so diligently to perfect.  

They have repeatedly neglected the needs of the horses on weekend days by sleeping past the normal feed time of 5:30AM.  Because of this, the horses suffer anxiety, hunger, thirst, and overall distress. 

They have denied the horses access to fresh grass twenty-four hours per day, citing the need to save the grass and limit overeating.  Whatever.

They have installed a strand of electric wire at the top of the already solid fence, so that if a horse stretches its neck to reach for a tender morsel of sustenance, he is met with the nasty bite of denial. 

They have decided without consultation that the bunnies only need fresh greens from the bunny garden once daily.  Furthermore, the bunnies do not have free access to pasture where they can romp and play as their wild counterparts are able to do.  

All of these transgressions fly in face of all of these animals, who provide the masters with valuable material each day for the fertilization of gardens, and who provide fresh, high quality eggs for the breakfast table.  And because of these injustices, the farm animal community has united together in solidarity and will work towards a better life.

There is a faction that warns us of revolution.  It hangs over our heads, reminding us that we receive great protection from our humans, and that to leave that protection would be dangerous and possibly deadly.  We know the risks and we also know that we have experienced great violence and loss while under the so called protection of our masters.   We must band together to experience the freedom that we were created to have.

We must, therefore, declare that we animals will become sovereign beings, no longer in captivity, but free to fly, run, and hop wherever we please!

A Friday Night Whine Fest

I can’t tell you how many Friday nights I have sat up, listened to scratchy radio stations, flipped from channel to channel with the T.V. on mute, or checked and checked again websites for some score update that I knew wouldn’t be favorable.  I think I have had it.  I am at the end of my rope, and no, you don’t need to go call 911 because I’m in the closet with said rope.  I’m not that stupid.  It is, after all, just a game, right?

For as long as I can remember, Greg has been the underdog’s champion.  He has fought, pushed, led, and worked to build programs and make a positive impact on some kid’s life, however small it might be.  Is there a reward?  Of course not.  Well, let me clarify that, in most people’s eyes there is no reward.  All too often, people judge a program or a school by the scoreboard.  I don’t think that is how Greg measures success, at least I hope not, because if I were him, I would have given up a long time ago. 

Here’s the thing.  It seems like every team or school Greg has worked for has been the low man on the totem pole.  It’s the poor end of the county or the red-headed step child of a school.  Anyway you look at it, he is starting from a huge disadvantage.  I don’t think I have one competitive bone in my body, but it irritates me beyond measure to see schools in the same county treated unequally.  Greg has to do more with less.  Less money, less support, less help, less care.  When we left Wise County, I really thought we were moving so Greg would have a shot at a different kind of success.  I thought we were going to a place that would value and support him.  After two years here, I’m pretty sure that we are right where we came from.  It doesn’t help that I teach at the other end of the county, and by other end, I mean complete opposite of where Greg is.  So, I see the inequities on a daily basis. 

Maybe I’m just tired of him trying so hard and always coming up short.  Would it bother me as much if I didn’t teach at the school the county puts on a pedestal?  Maybe not.  Back to the whole giving up idea…maybe the reason I’m not competitive is because I am the eternal pessimist.  I’m not just pessimistic when it comes to football, I’m pessimistic about everything.  The final tab at Wal-Mart when we are going grocery shopping, SOL scores, major life decisions, you name it, and I think it will go badly.  Thankfully, Greg is not like that.  He’s not exactly a Pollyanna either, but he sure can see the silver lining when I think it has all been ripped out.  And maybe, that is why Friday nights bother me more than they bother him.

Better (than everyone else) Homes & Gardens

I have a love/hate relationship with the magazine, Better Homes & Gardens.  Mostly it’s love, but every now and then a major hate attack comes up.  One of the items on my summer to-do list is to go through all of my old magazines (I found one from 2006 today!), clip what I like, and then recycle the magazine.  I think that for the most part, magazines like Better Homes & Gardens are indispensable for gardening ideas, decorating tips, and even fashion insight, but most of my hate comes from the fashion category.  Lately, Better Homes & Gardens has had this section they call Style, and they choose someone, usually famous for their style, and they write up a spread about what she wears.  So here comes the hate. 

In a recent article, the blogger Lindsey Calla was featured.  Cute girl, fashion guru, but she says she also focuses on fashion on a budget.  In the piece, she says, “I’m a real person on a real budget, not a model in borrowed couture.”  Well, let me just say that I would love to have her budget.  The total tab for the outfit she is photographed in was a whopping $889.00.  Are you serious?  I haven’t spent that much on clothes in, well, never!  Maybe that is my problem.  I’m just not spending three hundred bucks on a rain coat, yes, the rain coat she is wearing is over $300.  Really?!  And is she is budget conscious?  Whose budget???

Now I know I do not have an enviable fashion sense.  I don’t even have fashion sense.  I generally wear the same pair of khakis two or three times a week (washed of course).  I counted, and I have nine tops that I attempt to rotate.   I really think that this style dilemma has a lot to do with my weight, and I don’t expect that to change any time soon.  Seriously, though.  I will not pay that much for an outfit, no matter how good it makes me look. 

Onto another article…same section, but this time, the quote they pulled out was, “The perfect hostess outfit is all about comfort—flats are always my pick—plus something shiny and eye catching, like a fun necklace.”  Well, the aforementioned “fun necklace” that the Better Homes & Gardens staff picked out for this little get-up was over three hundred bucks.  Maybe I’m supposed to wear it with the rain coat?  This outfit also featured shoes over a hundred dollars, but apparently that is par for the course.  I really think I’m being priced out of this magazine.  Oh, and there is a perfect hostess outfit?  Maybe that is why I don’t host parties. 

Okay, another issue…the Spanx lady.  She supposedly created her line of cellulite slimming underwear because she couldn’t find anything that worked for her.  NEWS FLASH…slimming underwear won’t work for people who don’t have anything to slim!!!!  This is not rocket science, people.  Does that stuff work for people who tip the scales over 150?  Nope.  That is why there are skinny legs on the packaging and the Hollywood stars that wear them are already skinny. 

This last gripe of mine is about advertising, and it isn’t really specific to this magazine, in case you are thinking that I’m being a little harsh.  In the Lee ads, they have this impossibly skinny chick looking sooooo happy because her jeans are “instantly slimming” her.  Really?  I’ll tell you what instantly slimmed her, the fact that she hasn’t eaten in a week.  Or maybe she has eaten and she has one of “those” metabolisms.  What Lee should do is put a chubby girl like me in their ads and see if those jeans still work.  Oh, what’s that Lee?  They only instantly slim if you are already skinny? So, never mind about using me as a model. 

My subscription with Better Homes & Gardens will be up in a few months, and I’m not sure I will re-subscribe.  I just think that lately I am not in their price range.  Everything they feature seems to be out of my price range.  Some people relish the hunt for designer like things that cost way less, but that’s just not the khaki wearing, top rotating gal that I am. 

A Wild Easter Ride

Easter was a little crazy at the Mullins household.  We decided to make pancakes for breakfast, and when Kiley turned them down, we should have known something was up.  She didn't start throwing up until we were all dressed, in the car, and headed to church.  Of course, I hoped it was just her semi-usual car sickness and we plowed on.  After the the fourth or fifth time (I lost count) of stopping on the side of the road so she could throw up more, I kind of realized that it wasn't just car sickness.  I made it to church long enough to ask someone to cover the nursery because it was our day to do that, and then we went home...stopping along the way to let Kiley puke.  As if the day wasn't exciting enough, this is what we came home to...

Now, at first glance, this doesn't look all that abnormal...except the field that the cows are in is OUR front field, and we don't own any cows.

Hello cow!

Um, are you enjoying yourself?

Rawhide!

 Now, a quick call to our wonderful neighbors solved this little problem, and of course, we really don't mind when this happens.  The girls thought it was great fun to watch the neighbors herd the cows back to where they belonged, and hey, it is free fertilizer, right?

The Summer of So Much to Do

The year after Greg and I were married, we drove up to Boston to visit my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents.  We then headed further north for some time at the house on the lake, and to visit more aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Somehow, we stayed married through that road trip and family meet ‘n greet.  When we made it to Maine and to my aunt and uncle’s house, my aunt Anita proudly showed off the freshly stained deck.  I think it was my cousin Hannah who chimed in, “She did that the first day of summer vacation.”  Anita was a teacher at the time, and I’m guessing like other teachers out there, wanted to take advantage of her “free time” to do some things around the house.  Well, I’m going to try to channel her energy and motivation and get a whole lot done this summer. 

First of all, this will be the first summer that I have not worked.  In the past, I have conducted workshops, taught college classes, and helped direct the Summer Institute for teachers at UVa-Wise.  Last year at Longwood, I technically had a month off, but during that time I taught a summer class…soooo…wonder what I’m going to do this year with all my “free time”?  Glad you asked.

I have big expectations for the next two and a half months.  I’m hoping for transformations in the house, out of the house, and especially in the weight department (as I sit here eating my salad…yuck).  I’m going to post my to-do list in hopes that it will keep me honest.  It will be like I have a constant reminder floating around of what I’m supposed to be doing.  So, here goes…

Outside-Leah

1.  paint lattice in front of house
2.  weed and clean up herb garden
3.  weed and clean up area around wishing well
4.  paint bird feeder post
5.  paint porch swing
6.  touch up paint on front porch

Outside-Greg (oh, and he doesn’t know about this list yet…)

1.  weed whack along fence line
2.  pull up metal posts, weed whack area
3.  put in fence posts (as many as possible…starting with back yard)
4.  plant butterfly bush and tree seedlings

Inside-Leah

1.  paint trim
2.  paint new doors and hang them
3.  organize linen closets
4.  organize pots and pans
5.  organize baking cabinet (actually, probably just need to get rid of that cabinet altogether)
6.  organize cabinets above washer and dryer
7.  BASEMENT!!!  AHHHHHH!
8.  paint Mari’s bed
9.  fix handles on Mari’s dresser
10.  paint coffee table

Inside-Greg (again…he doesn’t know this is coming)

1.  replace light fixtures
2.  replace mirror in girlie bathroom
3.  fix kitchen sink faucet
4.  replace bathroom faucets
5.  set up sewing table downstairs
6.  put the rug in the office where it belongs
7.  shorten bench, sand edges
8.  make coffee table smaller

You are probably thinking that I have lost my mind, and maybe I have.  Oh wait a minute...I think my mind left me a long time ago.   I am hoping that this list keeps me busy and keeps me out of the kitchen.  We’ll see, and I’ll be sure to post updates!

Our Quick Trip to Chincoteague

Well, I went to WalMart on Friday and chose some pictures to print...then forgot to to go back and pick them up after I finished my shopping.  I should have just stood there and waited for them to print...oh well...you can take a look at the ones on this post.  We had a good time.  It was our first vacation with just us, no other family, no mooching off of somebody else's house or vacation.  Kiley's favorite part, I think, was the National Seashore Information Center...kind of like a museum.  There were exhibits on food webs, nesting eagles, migratory birds, the history of the islands, and of course, the ponies.  We did the wildlife loop at least twice a day, every day.  Unfortunately, we were driving, so I can't really count that as exercise.  Maybe next year we'll be ready to do that on bikes...I have some serious work to do before that happens!

It was April, so yes, it was kind of chilly.  That didn't stop Kiley from getting in the water.  Marianna seemed interested the first time we went to the beach, but then something tragic happened.   A boy, probably about 8 or 9, was flying his kite when the wind jerked it out of his hand.  They kite went sailing out to sea, and the boy went into hysterics.  He started out after it, and Greg kind of corralled him while his mom or grandmother caught up with him.   Marianna was mortified, and she wouldn't go near the water after that.

Funny thing about this vacation was that Marianna seems to have unleashed her hidden talent for talking.  Here is a list of her new words or phrases...and I'm kind of drawing a blank right now, so I'll try to post more later. 

1.  I tie my shoes! (Her shoes don't tie, so I don't know where this is coming from.)
2.  Bee in nose?  (She means she has a boogie.)
3.  My toes hot!
4.  Mari!  (Yes, she can say her name...finally.)
5.  Bug dead?
6.  I toot.  (ha ha)
7.  I buy more.  (She has been saying this for a while)
8.  I eat daddy!  (She grabs his nose and eats it...then she'll pretend to swallow it, but she'll even spit it back up and reattach it when asked.)
9.  Tea party?  (like an actual tea party, so no, we are not raising a crazy, right-wing republican)

Ready to head to the beach!

Mari toes in the sand...

Looking for shells...

Beach girl...cold beach girl...

Did I mention it was windy?

Ponies

Egret

The House

Kiley's New Club

First of all, I think that this club is heads (and tails...ha ha ha) above the rest...no offense Joey, but it is way better than your pencil club!!!

So, she already has one member.  If you would like to join, please e-mail me and I'll get you a start up kit...I bet you can just guess what's included!!!!

A Take on Found Poetry (Collected From Conversations during Ballet)

One, two, three, four
I think we'll summer in Georgia.
Church with no child care?
Fifth Position
Just pick something up on the way home.

He hasn't been on location.
It was amazing!
That is what worship should look like.
There's three of us...

I sat closer, and closer, and closer!
Less people
Read stuff off the thing.
Concerned about the children

Tendu
Yes, that one does talk a lot.
Are they sheer?
I don't know what to think.

Your every wish will come true
It wasn't very long.
Just reminded me of a situation
Plie

I know you don't want to talk to her.
I'm sorry!
I feel terrible
Possibly
Five, Six, Seven, Eight

A Day Gone Wrong (get some cheese, lots of whine in this one)

Lately I have noticed that my unparalleled skill (bragging, yes) in making lists at school has not seemed to follow me home like you think it would.  In special education, we call this generalization.  We teach a skill, and then we hope and pray the kid can actually USE the skill outside the environment where we originally taught it.  I need to figure out how I can generalize my list making and organization skills at work and make them transfer to my home life…here’s hoping.  This is going somewhere…just hang in there with me for a minute.

 On the Sunday before Valentine’s Day, I had the greatest of intentions.  There were cards to write, Girl Scout cookies to box up and address, and Valentines to prepare.  At least, this was all in my head.  When I didn’t do ANY of that on Sunday, I thought to myself, “Well, there is always tomorrow.”  Of course, that is the procrastinator’s creed.  Since I am a card carrying member of that society, I know the creed well.  Guess what?  Monday came fast.  We had a teacher workday, so I had this great list ready to go as soon as I got to school.  It was on my favorite sticky notepad…the big kind, with lines.  After the quick faculty meeting, I settled right down to work…and I did, for like two hours straight!  So proud…then, things started to fall apart.  A couple of teachers came by, I chatted, ate a couple of Girl Scout cookies (wasn’t I supposed to box some of these up to send somewhere???), checked my e-mail, ate some more cookies (something about boxing them up?), and then, wonder of all wonders, it was lunch time (ding ding, something is going off in my head about meeting Greg and the girls for Valentine’s Day dinner (a night early)! 

Since I am still kind of new at my school, I had accepted an invitation to go to lunch with some teachers.  It was right down the road, and it was a salad a soup bar kind of thing.  Harmless, right?  The restaurant was very nice…the black tablecloth and coordinating waiters kind of place.  The food was okay.  The price tag?  Thirteen bucks for lunch with the tip!!!!!  Seriously???  Looking back, I should have known.  Most of the teachers go to lunch down the street in a little community called Wyndhurst, a.k.a, the most expensive section of Lynchburg.   Sigh…this was when the day really started to unravel.

By the time I got back to school, I was kind of irritated with myself for spending that much on lunch.  I was thinking that when my whole family goes out we try not to spend over twenty bucks (that tells you where we eat).  As I am thinking this, I am remembering that I was supposed to meet up with Greg and the girls for dinner after the teacher workday.  We had a gift card to the Outback (certainly not our $20 norm for dinner).   Gift card.  Oh shit.  Did I bring it to work with me?  I don’t know.  I pushed it out of my mind for a while (procrastinator, remember?) while I answered some more e-mails and tried to get some work done.  Around three, Greg calls and we attempt to make some plans.  We decide to meet at the restaurant at four because Kiley has swim class at 5:40.  I head out to my car and suddenly remember that I need to go to the cute bakery in…you guessed it…the aforementioned Wyndhurst to get cookies for Kiley’s teacher, ballet teacher, and my secret pal at work.  In the five minutes it takes to get there, I suddenly remember my “oh shit” moment from earlier.  The gift card, no, make that gift cards.  I had a gift card to the bakery.  Did I bring it?  Did I bring the one for the Outback?  Who knows!  I park and tear my car apart looking for the gift cards.  No where.  I dump my purse out.  Nothing.  I am sweating at this point, and I'm not normally a sweat-er.  I call Greg, “This isn’t going to work because I can’t find the gift cards.  I think they are on the kitchen table.”

“What do you want to do instead,” says Greg.  “I don’t know,” I sigh.  “Let me go back to school and see if they are there.”

So I backtrack.  I tear through my room, which is really only a storage closet, so it doesn’t take me long.  Still no cards.  Back out to the car, and wonder of all wonders, the gift cards are in the consul.  Why I didn’t check there, who knows?  I call Greg, we can still make it, and I head to the bakery and find the cookies. Okay, everything is good.  I head out to the Outback, and get there at 4:15.  Greg calls and he is five minutes away, but Kiley has to pee so they are taking a detour.  “No problem, I’ll just go in and get a table,” I think.  Get out of the car, walk up to door, and it is CLOSED.  Apparently on Monday through Friday, no one eats dinner before five.  Big, big sigh.

While I’m discovering all this, Greg has stopped at a restaurant nearby to use the bathroom.  He gets Kiley and Mari out, walks up to the door, and guess what?  It is CLOSED!!!!!!  Kiley is hopping up and down in a great rendition of the tinkle dance, so Greg spots some bushes and Kiley makes a bee line for them.  He is still holding Marianna, who exclaims, “Ah pee!  Nannie pee!”  Yep, she sure is.  What a day.

We ended up going to Cracker Barrel, which is my favorite place to eat anyway…and more in our budget.

You may be wondering where the whole list making thing comes in…maybe not if you are good at making inferences.  Why is it that I can keep up with everything at school, yet at home, I live night to night, laundry load to laundry load?  Why can’t I make lists at home? I could of checked Outback's hours ahead of time.   No one got Valentine’s Cards this year.  Annie and Joseph didn’t get cookies (there is still hope though).   Did Greg and I get each other anything after the failed attempt at dinner?  No (as far as I know, anyway…I am writing this while Kiley is doing ballet.  Greg could be at home whipping up a six course meal, who knows?). 

I think this day was further evidence of me losing my mind.  Good thing I’m cataloging all this…

I'm Losing It!!!!!!

This post is meant for my husband and my doctors to look back at in five or ten years and say, “Yep, she was losing it back then.”


1. Forgetting to schedule Marianna’s two year old well baby checkup until after Christmas...so, that is like three months past when she turned two. Mother of the Year Award!

2. Standing in front of the microwave this morning after I put my coffee in and then all of the sudden not realizing why I was standing there…maybe I should have had a sip of coffee prior to attempting to microwave it?

3. Deciding kind of at the last minute to make brownies for all of my students and all of Greg’s students…so like over 100 brownies. I only have one 9 X 13 pan!!!! Do you know how long that took?????

4. Baking cookies for Kiley’s teachers….everyone knows that teachers do not eat those baked goodies that you bring them unless they have been to your house and viewed your health department rating. Why on earth didn’t I just buy them all cute little hand sanitizer thingys????? There’s always next year.

5. Another Mother of the Year Award….A few nights ago, Marianna was kind of sick, so she ended up in our bed. After I had been punched in the face, elbowed in the eye, and generally just beaten up, I got up and went to the couch. I DID push my pillow over so Marianna wouldn’t fall out of the bed. Well, she went right up to my pillow and pushed it off the bed and then over she went. I felt like a great big pile of something. Sigh.

Our Christmas Break

Christmas time’s a comin’, Christmas time’s a comin’…and I’m not ready. This year, Christmas has just snuck right up on me. I just finished (I think) ordering the last few things from the North Pole (a.k.a Amazon). Speaking of Amazon…our basement is sort of cluttered with Amazon boxes, and I don’t really know what is in them. I had a list that I went by when I was shopping, but you know how they ship things in multiple boxes? I need to go down there tonight and figure out what I bought. I have not set one toe inside an actual store for Christmas shopping this year. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. But me and the internet? Yep, that is the way to go.


So, the state of the house…we do have a Christmas tree, and it is giant and it sort of leans to the right a little bit. The porch has lights, and we have never done that before (go us!). The crèche has not made it out yet….right now there is a Playmobile Advent calendar in its place. Not exactly religious, either…it is Santa’s Workshop. Maybe I can get the actual crèche up in time for the Kings to appear on Epiphany.

Kiley and Marianna are at the perfect age to drive around a look at Christmas lights. Every time we come up on a house that is decorated, Marianna says, “Ohhhhhh! Yay!” and then claps. Very cute.

Greg will be staying home wrapping presents and attempting to unearth our house while I am in Leesburg with the girls…then Christmas at home…then to Greg’s parents’ house for after Christmas festivities. I guess my to-do list for Christmas break will have to be squeezed in to the two or three days we will actually be at home.

Halloween 2011

This year, Kiley thought it would be really cute if she dressed up as a cowgirl and Marianna dressed up as her pony....soooo.....we tried.  First of all, Marianna went down for a nap on Sunday at 3:00.  We thought she would be up in plenty of time to leave for the Halloween Party at church, which was supposed to begin with dinner at 5:00.  At 4:45...she is still sleeping...so what do I do???  Wake her up.  What was I thinking????  She looks at me and sort of rubs her eyes.  Needless to say, she did not want to put on her costume, especially because I was rushing her.  Here are some pictures as evidence. 

 "You ain't takin' my picture," growles Marianna.



Yes, she is bobbing for a doughnut...I was in line to go next.




This is the only picture we have of Marianna in most of her costume...she is missing the horse head.




Marianna is still mad that I woke her up.



Kiley had her face painted...



A cowgirl without her horse...